That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.
You don’t know the terminology; you don’t know the community; you’re making a complete ass of yourself with this move.
And to make it worse, you’re not actually doing anything new. I have defended you time and again for your efforts to innovate the publishing industry, but this? Trying to convince fan fiction writers (of which I am one) to sign on for work-for-hire contracts and painting it as if they do this work already?
They don’t. And they—in general—don’t want to. They want to write the stories they write without rules about what is and isn’t acceptable. Know how I know you don’t get this? You have a no pornography clause. Which. Just. Hilarious. Deeply, sadly, fucking hilarious.
You want to create extended universes for certain properties, and you seem to think that fan fiction writers don’t know the difference between fan fiction and licensed work. Fan fiction writers know what licensed property work is. They write fan fiction for it.
There is not enough boat to hold onto this fail. What the hell are you even doing.
My Peevish Penman post for May. Dedicated to Jesse and where I admit that I’m not the best role model for my fellow writers.
A measles epidemic in Wales that has infected more than 1,000 people is the fallout from a fraudulent paper linking the vaccine and autism published almost 15 years ago, health officials say. Many of the children and teenagers sick with measles were never vaccinated.
And in other news, Portlanders rejected a measure to add fluoride to our drinking water.
I need information about American ambassadorships (like, people coming to America as ambassadors), information regarding the formal and informal requirements of an ambassador’s spouse in way of social and professional obligations, information about how an international hostage situation gets handled, and maybe a few biographies and autobiographies of people who have survived a politically motivated hostage situation.
Before I dig into this research, I’m determined to finish the first Battery Babies script because all that up there? That’s a new idea.
I am opening up portrait commissions! They come in 3 varieties:
LEVEL A: Rough linework + accent color. $10!
This level accents underdraw and sketch characteristics. You can decide if you want it a solid single color (three) or color highlights (one, two).
LEVEL B: Clean linework + fill color. $20!
This level tidies up lines and fleshes out color in two or three layers of shading. You can decide if you want the underdraw/sketch visible (one, twoo) or removed (three).
LEVEL C: Elle goes insane. $30!
This level involves bold lineart and a great deal more color work. You can pick a color range for me if you want me to get really wild (one, two) or take it easy (three).
- These will be portraits only.
- Please add $5 for addition of each extra character.
- My turnaround rate will vary with the workload at my job, but I am, in general, pretty quick! I will notify you if it will take me more than a week, however, so I don’t leave you hanging.
- Payment first, drawing second. All payments will be processed via Paypal.
If you are interested, please shoot me an email at email@example.com!
Thank you for your support and possible business!
Elle did some really lovely work for me on an eight-pager awhile back. You’re gonna get good work.
Might have been a bit more, actually. I’m not sure. What I am sure of is this: I am not yet confident enough in my scripting that first drafts come easy. In all other writing I do, I can generally slam out a first draft that I’m pretty happy with. Does it need editing? Yes. But, generally, I write pretty instinctively and come out in a good place when I finish a first draft.
The Battery Babies #1 script is giving me growing pains. I basically wrote the same scene twice, and I saw it right away, and I was desperate to back up and combine those two scenes into a single, and I forced myself to push forward anyway because editing is what killed the Girl Who Loved a Zombie scripts (as this is comics, I expect those to come back at some point), and I don’t want that to happen on this project. So, I pushed forward, and I got beyond that scene-doubling, and I thought I was okay, but the urge to go back and fix things right now was still strong, so I shelved any new writing until I could think about the story without first thinking about that double-scene bit.
I looked at the script today and only thought of what comes next. It’s never fun to stop and walk away, but sometimes you need a case of hurry up and wait.
Second part of act two? I’m coming for you tonight. Let’s do this.
MALE-TYPE-GUY-DUDES! The truth will set you FREE!
Look. Here’s the deal: you’re not fooling anyone. We know you’re not Geek Girls. (Your unsightly stubble and Adam’s apples give you away.)
It’s okay. We understand. Being a Geek Girl is a pretty fabulous thing. We get it and love you for your aspiration. But the thing is, you’re not a Geek Girl… because you’re a guy.
So quit pretending and learn to love yourself for who you are.
Step two: Wear said t-shirt to a geek culture convention, comics or gaming shop (where we know you only go to meet girls, I mean, amirite?) and let the ladies love you for who you really are.
Step three: Revel in the knowledge that my commission on your purchase will be donated to the Girls Leadership Institute, so you’ve done not one but TWO cool things.
at long last, a means to unburden my shame, my lie
Oh, god, I want one, but then it ruins the fabulous joke.
But I WANT ONE.